Oh snap, CrookOne is comin’ with some brunch type shit. If you were with your ruca last night and didn’t get laid, this should get you some daytime sex… or somethin’!

- Waffles Dolloped with Nutella and Homemade Cranberry Sauce
- Bacon w/Brown Sugar and Red Pepper Flakes
- Eggs
- Side o’ Fruit

Let’s peep the ingredients:

So I made some Cranberry Sauce from scratch, yo it’s mad easy and fairly quick. This is what I used:

CRANBERRY SAUCE:
- Package of cranberries (use about 12 oz or so)
- 1/2 cup Brown Sugar
- 1/2 cup C & H (pure cane sugar, from Hawaii)
-1 cup  OJ
- Some type of citrus fruit (for zesting)

So put the OJ, Brown Sugar, Sugar in a sauce pan over medium/high heat stir it all up until sugar dissolves. Throw the cranberries in, after a few minutes the cranberries will start to pop. Don’t panic they’re sposed to do that. So basically just leave on the heat for a while, the cranberries will start popping and bubbling up, just don’t burn the motherfuckas. Your spidey senses will tell you when the shits ready then take off the heat, you can mash em up a little if you want. It should thicken as it cools. You can add some orange zest to it at this point and stir it up. Should kinda look like the pic below.

Aight on to the waffle mix. So yeah I keep it quick and easy by using a pre-made mix:

WAFFLES:
- Some sort of waffle/flapjack mix (why do I think of the OctoMom when I hear the word flapjack?)
- Nutella
- Cinnamon (optional)
- Grand Marnier (mandatory, oh btw you can even throw some of this in the cranberry sauce as well)
- Syrup for later

So yeah, basically just follow the instructions on the box, then add a few dollops of nutella in the mix, and maybe half a shot of Grand Marnier for good measure. The Cinnamon I just threw in to add more crap to the picture, but you can sprinkle some of that shit in there too:

Now on to the bacon (oh hells yeah). So pigs are very intelligent and kinda cute when they are little..they make good pets I hear, so sometimes when I think about eating pork of some sort I feel bad for like.. a millisecond! And I actually do root for them on Hogs Gone Wild, why do they gotta taste so damn good man, shit:

BACON:
- Bacon (plain, no maple or honey smoked crap. I use Farmer John ’cause I’m a Dodger fan and I associate Vin Skully with Farmer John because of the old commercials)
- Brown Sugar
- Red Pepper Flakes *
* (If you’re out of this and too lazy to go to the market..just order a pizza for delivery and make sure to ask them for red pepper flakes, by the time you need them the pizza guy will be knocking!)

So you can lay them out on a rack of some sort and sprinkle the brown sugar and red pepper flakes on them and throw them in the oven, but I’m too lazy to bust out the rack so I just throw them in the pan. Sprinkle the brown sugar on them (don’t be shy with it)..wait til they are almost done then sprinkle the red pepper flakes on ‘em. Man! It’s like swine candy strips!

Ok ya’ll, back to that waffle mix:

So whip out your waffle Iron, heat it up and when it’s ready, scoop like just under a 1/2 cup of mix pour in the center of the waffle iron, then put a few dollops of that cranberry sauce in and around the waffle. (I usually get a little more mix and pour it over the cranberry dollops so there is a layer of mix between the waffle iron and the cranberry) Close the lid and when the light turns green, I still leave it closed for maybe another minute to insure a nicely browned waffle.

Oh yeah I made eggs too:

I totally neglected the eggs although you can pimp ‘em out by adding finely diced peppers or whatever. Mine were just plain with salt and pepper. BTW make those before the waffles and keep ‘em warm.

Yeah its a few steps for this but still pretty quick, I’d say you’re eating in just over an hour from the time you start:

Slice up some fruit pour the syrup, and it’s on and poppin’! (Strawberries woulda made for a better pic to add some color. The bananas are too close in color to the eggs, oh well.)
Serve with a Bloody Mary, or Mimosa.